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Longhorns Christmas Wish List

Brett Kinaschuk aka Rex
One more good year so he can tell Cade he was actually a good ball player

Travis Gaudet aka Goodie
After fixing all the Longhorn players physical problems, he works on himself. A jacked up band-aid

Dakota Upton
Not to pitch every other game and when present the opportunity to score (chick) he closes the deal

Jeff Peach
When he is finally able to make a game, it doesn’t rain

Craig Joyce
That he and Brett Enright become best friends

Bud Eisthen
A job and to move in with his Mom and Dad and Ted

Elliot Shrive
To get out of Oyen

Norris Philpotts aka Midnight Lust
A physical specimen that’s as fragile as a fart in the wind. Just wants to stay healthy and maybe hit 2% body fat

Brett Suchan aka Peaches
That the other 4 teams will pick him up so he can say he’s played with every team in the league

Jared Albo
Nothing, he’s the perfect Native Canadian

Don Blair
Spend less time ion Fort Mac and Vegas, not sure which one he enjoys more

Rob Fisher aka Fish
To stop forgetting his boats and the diamond

Brendan Engdahl
Learn how to write a text when he’s hammered

Aaron Pepin aka Pep
Somehow Ted’s arm falls onto Peps body so he can actually pitch again

Lars Glemser
Recover from losing out on becoming the World’s Most Interesting Man. Drink less red wine in cabs

Ted Eisthen
That Bud moves home so he has someone to play games with

Hiro Imata
Just a chance to play again, the team wants his girlfriend to bring out some of her friends to watch

Kellen Foreman
Recession to end so he can his life back to normal and stop going to work

Jade Alberts
That teams stop beaning him. He’s old, slow and bruises easily. Running out of excuses for all the bruises.

Matt Whitehead
A new arm, shoulder and time to play again

Gianfranco Terrazzano
He wants the #69 but will have to join the Diamondbacks Slo-pitch team for that.

Jason Ulmer
That he can pitch more than 5 innings and that someone comes up with a contraption that cleans up horse shit.