Brett Kinaschuk aka Rex
One more good year so he can tell Cade he was actually a good ball player
Travis Gaudet aka Goodie
After fixing all the Longhorn players physical problems, he works on himself. A jacked up band-aid
Dakota Upton
Not to pitch every other game and when present the opportunity to score (chick) he closes the deal
Jeff Peach
When he is finally able to make a game, it doesn’t rain
Craig Joyce
That he and Brett Enright become best friends
Bud Eisthen
A job and to move in with his Mom and Dad and Ted
Elliot Shrive
To get out of Oyen
Norris Philpotts aka Midnight Lust
A physical specimen that’s as fragile as a fart in the wind. Just wants to stay healthy and maybe hit 2% body fat
Brett Suchan aka Peaches
That the other 4 teams will pick him up so he can say he’s played with every team in the league
Jared Albo
Nothing, he’s the perfect Native Canadian
Don Blair
Spend less time ion Fort Mac and Vegas, not sure which one he enjoys more
Rob Fisher aka Fish
To stop forgetting his boats and the diamond
Brendan Engdahl
Learn how to write a text when he’s hammered
Aaron Pepin aka Pep
Somehow Ted’s arm falls onto Peps body so he can actually pitch again
Lars Glemser
Recover from losing out on becoming the World’s Most Interesting Man. Drink less red wine in cabs
Ted Eisthen
That Bud moves home so he has someone to play games with
Hiro Imata
Just a chance to play again, the team wants his girlfriend to bring out some of her friends to watch
Kellen Foreman
Recession to end so he can his life back to normal and stop going to work
Jade Alberts
That teams stop beaning him. He’s old, slow and bruises easily. Running out of excuses for all the bruises.
Matt Whitehead
A new arm, shoulder and time to play again
Gianfranco Terrazzano
He wants the #69 but will have to join the Diamondbacks Slo-pitch team for that.
Jason Ulmer
That he can pitch more than 5 innings and that someone comes up with a contraption that cleans up horse shit.
WE WISH EVERYONE A SAFE AND MERRY CHRISTMAS. HAPPY HOLIDAYS